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258 THE RELATIVE DUTIES OF MANKIND. [Part III.

this highest and most difficult of the duties of friendship is dis-charged. A friend is to be admonished in gentle and respectfulterms. Whatever of severity there may be in any remonstranceon the part of a friend, must consist in the matter of the remon-strance, not in the manner , much less in the language in whichit is conveyed. To this end, a friend is to wait for opportuni-ties, to seek the mollia tempora fandi, to be inventive of waysand methods, by which to render his remonstrances as little of-fensive as possible, and effectual to secure the object in view.He must strictly avoid every thing that savours in the least ofassumption ; every thing that seems to betoken a sense of supe-riority. In the censure of a friend, moreover, a captious, offi-cious, fault-finding spirit, is to be guarded against, as almost sureto defeat the end at which it aims. A friend is entitled to havethe best possible construction put upon his conduct, of which thecircumstances admit. He is even entitled to have his conductviewed with a reasonable share of indulgence by his friend ; andthat querulous temper must not be indulged, which can only findperpetual occasion of complaint in the conduct of a friend, andwhich, like the constant dropping that “weareth away stones,”will, in time, wear out the firmest friendship.* We must re-member, too, that if our friendly remonstrances fail of their de-sired effect, through any defect in the language we have used,any considerable want of judgment in the time we have chosen,or any serious impropriety in the tone and manner we haveassumed, the friend so admonished is not the only one in fault;we are ourselves in part responsible for the unpropitious result ofour endeavours.

(5.) Finally, it is a duty springing from this relation, to cher-ish the memory of a departed friend, to guard and protect hisreputation, now committed to the keeping of his friends, and, withthe remembrance of the past, to anticipate that future life, inwhich we may hope to rejoin him, and which, by this hope,presents new motives and new incitements to strengthen ourvirtue, and to- quicken our preparation for our last and greatchange. {£ Though the most magnificent funeral pomp,” says

Palfrey’s Sermons, p. 190, 191.